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01 March 2010 @ 10:54 am
Contrast in black and white  

A very wise woman said this evening that when one begins to identify as a slave, that person's world becomes very black and white.

A fantastic example of this, one I use quite often, is what I call "The Neck Stroke." This is when a slave or submissive strokes his or her neck in a demonstration for whatever Mr. or Ms. Domly Dom may be attempting to give orders. It is a very graceful way to convey that either "There is no collar here; I do not belong to you..." or "This collar is not yours." Sometimes it is a humorous joke among friends, often it is a message to assholes. Either way, the matter of "I belong to you" or "I do not belong to you" is very black and white. There are no shades of grey.

One very sharp contrast for me personally has been that of assertion. It is surprisingly liberating to put my foot down and protect my very sacred personal space, whether that space is physical, mental, or emotional. "Freedom in bondage," indeed! In that same vein is the concept of realizing my self-worth, and in doing so, weeding out those who do not deserve my submission or my power. Why would I give my power to one who neither respects me, nor treats me with dignity, kindness, and courtesy? Simply put, I will do no such thing.

Another contrast is that when I formerly identified as a Dominant/Top, there was never an issue with someone invading my scene space, therefore, as a Dominant/Top, I never had to challenge or confront anyone and tell them to go the fuck away. That changed when I began to explore submission; something about the energy changed. If I could give a newbie just one teeny, tiny piece of advice it would be this: never make assumptions about people, or their fetishes, or their roles, or their relationships. Hell, just don't make assumptions, period. Otherwise that pretty little slave girl (or maybe the not-so-little 6'4" slave girl) might just turn around and take you out at the knees. Say, if you made the egregious error of interrupting a scene where those two slave girls are in the role of Top (and there are plenty of slaves who Top on occasion)...especially if that scene involves them putting someone else in chastity. For disrupting not only their headspace, but also that of their bottom's, you might lose more than your legs.

Just sayin'...

~force field shimmy~ (A move I love so much, it just became a new fetish... ;-P)