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27 January 2010 @ 11:57 pm
More than submission...  
What I need right now is some knockdown, drag out, rough, wrasslin', passionately animalistic sex. ~GROWLS~ "Kitty" feels like a ravenous tigress...and this is what happens when I go too long without intense play.     
After some contemplation, I've come to realize that there's so much more to me, to my needs and desires, than the sort of submission I've been into lately. Sometimes I need intense play - pushing mental limits, experiencing emotional catharsis, pushing the boundaries to expand my physical capabilities. I crave it.  
Perhaps what I need (just an initial idea/suggestion for solution) is to have a Dominant _and_ a Top. To have someone I can really submit to mentally and emotionally, someone I can fall deeply "in like" with ("love" is not really my thing), and someone else to be a dear friend/play partner who I can trust to push my limits and expand my horizons.  
Also, inevitably, there are or will be fetishes I enjoy which my partner may not, and it would be good to have a seperate partner who can perhaps fill in some of the more important gaps. Let's face it, in reality, I don't expect to have all of my fetishes or desires fulfilled all of the time, but there are a certain few that, if left untended, leave me feeling incomplete, as if a part of me is being starved (and isn't that what's actually happening?).    
For now, this is all contemplation, self-awareness, and my own suggestions for potential solution. Further exploration is definitely needed...